An honest book about private parts designed for preschoolers who are becoming sexually aware, but aren’t ready to learn about sexual intercourse.
“Honesty needs no disguise nor ornament; be plain,” Thomas Otway wrote in his play The Orphan. But when it comes to talking to children about private parts, many parents are happy to let somebody else handle the dirty work. That’s a bad idea, says Dr. Gail Saltz, an associate professor of psychiatry at New York Presbyterian Hospital and the author of Amazing You! (public library), a children’s book about body awareness for preschoolers.
“If you feel awkward having these first conversations about sexuality, remember you’re not alone,” says Dr. Saltz in her author’s note. “The key is to be open and honest.” That’s where Amazing You! comes in handy. The book is designed for preschoolers who are becoming sexually aware, but aren’t ready to learn about sexual intercourse. It’s filled with clear, concise illustrations and information about reproduction, birth, and the differences between boys’ and girls’ bodies.
Speaking in a friendly and direct manner, the text addresses many of the questions children have about their bodies and where babies come from. The illustrations add a playful feel to the serious subject matter.
But what about the other parts, the parts that nobody else but you sees? What can they do? We call those parts ‘private parts’ because they stay hidden under your clothes or underwear. They belong to you, and they are special.
In her author’s note, Dr. Saltz provides some advice on how to use the book and talk to children about sexuality. She advises being open with them.
Sexual curiosity starts at a very young age, so it’s perfectly normal for your children to be interested in their private parts. It’s normal for them to ask you questions, too. If you feel awkward having these first conversations about sexuality, remember you’re not alone. The key is to be open and honest. When your child begins to ask questions, take the opportunity to establish yourself as the primary source of information about sex.
As parents, we pass along many things to our children, including our sexual attitudes. It’s up to us to set the stage for their sexual life, which means helping them to not feel ashamed of their own bodies. If you harbor feelings that sex is dirty and shameful, then you may unwittingly pass this on to your child. You may also convey a sense of shame when you avoid giving any name to your child’s genitals. References to ‘down there’ and ‘that place’ imply that it’s too embarrassing to even mention one’s private parts.
In order for our children to have pride in their genitals, we have to view them positively ourselves. It’s best to use universal terms that are anatomical, such as vagina, labia, penis, and testicles. If you are unsure of the anatomical terms, get familiar with them so that you can explain them to your children when they ask.
Amazing You! has a positive message that makes children feel good about themselves. Frankly, the text and illustrations are a breath of fresh air in a culture where many people are still ashamed of their bodies. You can boost your child’s confidence by reading this book and providing timely information in a matter-of-fact manner
Complement with Gossie, a tender story for preschoolers about a gosling who likes to wear bright red boots, then revisit Thunder Boy Jr., Sherman Alexie’s children’s book about the search for self-identity and becoming the people we are.